OTTAWA, ON, Canada (DE) – Let’s face facts, the Harper administration has effectively entered into an agreement (collusion) with Corporate Canada to ensure a steady flow of cheap, obedient and disposable labour into the country. Slavery has always been an extremely lucrative business and in today’s economic game it’s no different. There is a new name for it, but it amounts to the same thing. It’s called the Temporary Foreign Worker Program and it’s being flagrantly abused in various industries across the country to the great profit and delight of @ssh0les from coast-to-coast.
It’s essentially another way to screw the backbone of our society, the middle-class. More specifically it is, in large part, responsible for the fact that schmucks like us have to work two jobs just to make ends meet in this foul Year of Our Lord 2014. In an economic climate devoid of any organic upward pressure on middle-class salaries, CEO compensation as compared to front-line workers dangerously out of proportion and 7% of our citizens unemployed, Canada needs temporary workers about as much as Dick Ballantine needs an angry, festering, venereal wart on the bell-end of his Johnson.
Despite their market-humping facade, the rat-b@stard Tories have no qualms about intervening and distorting the free market, as long as it benefits the Corporatocracy. For proof of this, look no further than Labour/Transport Minister (and rumoured Fascist) Lisa Raitt, and her unilateral decision to revoke the fundamental democratic right to collective bargaining. This policy allows corporations (and governments) to effectively mandate wages for vast numbers of middle-class citizens. The result is an unholy, preternatural, and formidable downward pressure on the salaries of all ordinary Canadians, which is not just bad for the economy, it’s undemocratic. It’s also sick and gross and it makes Dick Ballantine puke. But just when you thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse for us working stiffs…they came up with temporary foreign workers!
McDonald’s Canada (to name just one business entity screwing our fellow citizens) and the market-sucking Tories (again, just one of a number of political entities s@cking us dry) contend that there are certain jobs Canadians just won’t do. Well, Dick Ballantine contends that there are certain thankless dirty jobs that Canadians just won’t do for 10 dollars an hour! You wanna get quality employees? Try paying them more, because that’s how markets are supposed to work. Or, does supply and demand only function to the benefit of Corporations and the investor class?
If NDP leader Tom Mulcair, and Pretty-Boy Justin Trudeau, had any Machiavellian instincts whatsoever, they’d attack Harper like a pack of wild dogs and rip him a brand new asshole on this issue. Cut the “I have a dream” bullshit and get straight to the point, because if there’s one thing Dick Ballantine knows for sure it’s this: next election Canadians are going to vote with their wallets. Unfortunately, Mulcair and Trudeau lack the balls and the imagination to take advantage of the situation. Either that or, more likely, their political bread is being buttered by the very same corporate interests as the rat-bast@rd Tories. Which ever way you want to slice it, the facts should never keep a good politician from exploiting an opponents weakness.
Let’s look to our fine neighbors to the south for some political inspiration here. Why? Because American politics is the Big Leagues…the Show. It’s a true c@nts game. The mealy-mouthed Canadian Left, should do what the Tories do so effectively and emulate some serious, bad-ass politicians in the United States. Harper’s inspiration has clearly been the Neo-Cons and the Bush Cartel. These guys are the Harlem Globe-Trotters of politics…undefeated. Ever. Wanna-be-man-of-the-people Justin Trudeau, could take a page out of a bonafide Heavy-Weight Champion’s playbook too, because, let’s face it, no politician in the modern era, in ANY country, has “played” the position of populist, like “the first African-American President” of the United States: William Jefferson Clinton.
Case in point: 1992, Bill Clinton takes time out from porking his campaign interns to recognize a significant chink in President George Herbert Walker Bush’s armor: the decline of the middle-class and the fact that the Republicans weren’t gonna to do a damn thing about it. As history teaches us, Clinton had absolutely no intention of addressing this issue in any meaningful way either, but! he did (with the help of James Carville) use it to great political advantage.
Slick Willy attacked and terminated the incumbent with extreme prejudice. All he had to do was speak four simple words: “It’s the economy, stupid!” If Clinton went to Ottawa tomorrow, he and his whiskey-ravaged nose, would be knee deep in poontang and Prime Minister by the end of the week. With game like that and an issue like temporary foreign workers to exploit, it would be a slam dunk! Like Monika Lewinski after two light beers.
Dick Ballantine for Dateline Earth.