Parsing DiManno’s Sickening Sweater-Gate Coverage

TORONTO, ON, Canada (DE) – Leaf fans (the real ones who might have been unfortunate enough to have to pay for their seats) are legitimately pissed-off. Despite shitting on DiManno from a great height once this week, Milk Johnson feels it worthwhile, for sport, to give Rosie’s Tossing Leafs jersey was a bush-league move, a vigorous little parsing, because in doing so we can learn something about the general attitude of the entire Leaf Cartel (media included) towards it’s long-suffering supporters. So let’s take a quick look:

“…(it’s) about R-E-S-P-E-C-T, ” writes Rosie, referring to the heinous crime of throwing a piece of clothing onto the playing surface. Wait… Respect? If the Leaf players had any

On April 23, 1964, having fractured his ankle earlier in the game, he returned in overtime and scored the game-winning goal. The Leafs won the next game 4–0 to win the best of seven series, and secure their third consecutive Stanley Cup championship.

On April 23, 1964, Bobby Baun, having fractured his ankle earlier in the game, returned in overtime and scored the game-winning goal. The Leafs won the next game 4–0 to win the best of seven series, and secure their third consecutive Stanley Cup championship. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

respect for the fans, or the uniform, or themselves, they wouldn’t mail games in the way they did in that 5 – 2 loss to Pittsburgh. Players that respect the sweater, do not go 14 and 6 down the stretch, and they sure as shit do not blow a three goal lead in game seven. The players that E-A-R-N the respect of the fans, play hard every game, for 80 plus games and then continue onto the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Remember those, Ms. DiManno!?

“But geez Louise, it was only Game 2…” she writes. Apparently DiManno hasn’t been paying attention for the last few decades. And by the way, it doesn’t matter what number game it is. If it’s the season opener, or the one that signals the start of an early golf season…people are paying top dollar to watch this sh!t. And the players are getting top dollar to perform…or at least try! Don’t think of it as game 2, think of it as year forty-seven of failure, capped by a decade of hockey that makes the Ballard years look like the glory days!

The sheer arrogance of the column builds to a crescendo when DiManno quotes spoiled brat, Nazim Kadri, “…we don’t need fans like that” he sneers. Ms. DiManno applauded that hilarious nugget of wisdom, by referring to it as “a zinger.” Is she for real with this shit? “Geez Louise?” “Zinger?” Like who the f@ck writes this crap?

“Tossing stuff on the ice — hat-trick lids excepted — is just plain bush.” This is vintage DiManno. Wow…hockey lingo. Way to get down to our level sweet-heart.

Whether it’s a “hat-trick lid” or a piece of polyester, sewn together in a sweat shop, and sold at a disgusting mark-up, it deserves no respect. It’s a piece of merchandise now. It’s just another “product” in the eyes of MLSE. These b@stards don’t get misty eyed about tradition: that shirt is a dollar sign and nothing more. And this is no longer a franchise, or a club…it’s just another money-grubbing corporation. That’s not news. It’s a commercial reality.

DiManno concludes, “Wonder if Jersey Boy would like his (sweater) back now.”

Wonder if Rosie would like her credibility back.

Milk Johnson for Dateline Earth Sports.

 

 

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BREAKING NEWS: Sweater-Gate…Leafs and DiManno Still Sh!t

TORONTO, ON, Canada (DE) – As a general rule, Milk Johnson does his best to steer well clear of Rosie DiManno’s opinion column in The Toronto Star. To be honest, I find it facile and trite at best; obvious and lacking any inherent creativity on the bad days. If I want opinions from minds like Rosie DiManno, I’ll flag down a mini-van in Brampton and ask a soccer mom.

DiManno doesn't just drinks MLSE Cool-Aid, she also shoots smack.

DiManno doesn’t just drink MLSE Cool-Aid, she also shoots the smack. Helps explain the hair and new-age thing in her ear.

I do on occasion, trip over Ms. DiManno’s work on-line, or worse, find myself stranded on the toilet with nothing better to read. This was the case last Sunday. Rosie’s latest piece finds her playing the sickening role of apologist, for the evil empire that is Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. The title of yesterday’s non-sense: Tossing Leafs jersey was bush-league move: DiManno.

What the piece should have been titled (if anyone over at The Star had any balls) is something on the order of: Tosser Leafs A Bush-League Franchise. THAT! is an article long-overdue to be published. Instead the “scrappy,” “pull-no-punches,” DiManno, chose to pander to sadly besotted Leaf fans and the sheisters at MLSE, while shitting all over a defenseless and frustrated Plebeian in the process. A Leaf fan that had reached his limit and made his opinions public, during a pathetic 5 – 2 Leaf loss on home ice Saturday night at the hands of the Pittsburgh Penguins. The unidentified man had the courage to do, what one of us should have done fifteen or twenty years ago. He delivered a big “f@ck you” to a franchise that has relentlessly milked and gouged, generations of hockey fans and given them nothing, or at best very little, in return.

Sweater-Gate!

Sweater-Gate…

This “lone nut” sent shivers down the collective spines of the corporate sporting universe simply by removing his over-priced Leaf sweater, balling it up as if it were a piece of trash and tossing it (harmlessly, during a stoppage in play) back to the bastards that sold it to him. Like a larger, drunker Frodo Baggins, casting The One Ring back into the fires of Mount Doom!

At this point, drama queen and Leaf-lackey Rosie DiManno reportedly wet her pants, excused herself from the free-buffet in the press-box at the ACC and got straight to work cranking out a propaganda piece designed to shape public opinion on the incident…like a less talented Joseph Goebels. Or worse, that evil swine Karl Rove! Everything about Rosie’s “Sweater-Gate” coverage screams sycophant. Furthermore, it seems likely that Ms. DiManno wrote this piece in collaboration with MLSE’s marketing department! The same sh!t-heels that came up with the arrogant, sickly sweet and total bullsh!t slogan, “The passion that unites us all.”

The Bush Cartel

Rove: The Bush Cartel’s Minister of Bullsh!t and Propaganda.

The condescending tone of the language employed, reveals the true motivation for this sleazy abortion of an article…FEAR. Clearly, “Sweater-Gate” has scared the living sh!t out of the entire Leaf cartel, from the rat-b@stards in the boardroom, right down to the peanut-vendors and prostitutes and every other huckster currently sucking the tit of the Toronto sports addict…DiManno included. Never before in the history of storied sporting franchises, have sacred, high-end consumer items like overpriced team-sweaters been publicly abused in this manner. Twice in one week! (see: Edmonton Oilers.)

In DiManno’s defense, just about every sports journalist in this town plays the same f@cked-up game. Critical to a point, but being very careful not to cross the line and pull back the curtain. In the words of Gore Vidal, “A writer must always tell the truth, unless he is a journalist. While the politician must never give the game away.” Unfortunately, the sporting press here in Hog Town tend more often than not to exhibit the worst traits of both professions.

“There is a thin veneer between the reality and the dream. You wake them up and the people might start asking for their money back.” Thompson wrote that. And he’s absolutely right. The last thing DiManno wants, is for Leaf junkies to face facts and open their eyes, because if that happens, there won’t be any suckers in the stands, sporting aa290c3e4832886848333139aabetwo-hundred-dollar sweaters to toss onto the ice. No punters paying three-hundred-dollars a seat and thirty-bucks for a pair of light-beers. No more suits forking over fifty-bucks just to park their SUV’s in the same area code as the ACC…and cruising the Jarvis-strip for post-game hookers. No middle-class families, huddled around their wide-screens, watching the game in the only manner they can ever hope to afford.

THAT apocalyptic scenario would officially put DiManno, and many other hacks, on a f@cking park bench. Right beside Dick Ballantine and Milk Johnson, reading the classifieds with a three-day beard and a brown paper-bag wrapped around a bottle of Johnny Walker Red…just to numb the pain.

Milk Johnson for Dateline Earth Sports.

 

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Places you never want to be: Starsky Supermarket Labour Day Weekend

MISSISSAUGA, ON, Canada (DE) – Dick Ballantine, is going to preface this article by saying, that Dick Ballantine loves Poland. I love the beautiful ladies, the schnitzel, the beer , the borscht and I think JP II was the greatest Pope in the history of the Catholic Church. However, I’d rather stand in the low-slot between Scott Stevens and Zdeno Chara than try to get to the cheese counter at Starsky’s Polish Supermarket on the Saturday of a long-weekend.

Patrons of Starsky que-up for schnitzel.

Starsky patrons queue up for smoked-fish and schnitzel.

Traversing the parking lot in anything other than a “hard-car” is risky. Getting in the door without having your ankle broken by a seventy-two year-old lady driving a shopping cart like she’s one of the Malachi Brothers, is an accomplishment, and the produce section moves like the Don Valley Parkway on the Friday before May Two-Four.

Your sense of relief at making visual contact with the deli section is short lived, as you realize that standing between you and the kielbasa are 450 big-boned, expressionless, single-minded survivors of Soviet-era bread-lines. They’ll get body position on you and grind you into dust for a 200 gram slice of gouda and some blood sausage…and that’s just the women.

 

Dick Ballantine for Dateline Earth.

 

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